When You Suspect Your Child Is Using Alcohol or Drugs

One of many parents’ biggest fears is that their child will use alcohol or drugs. Alcohol or drug use can harm your child’s growing brain. And use can develop into addiction. If you suspect that your child is using, taking early action is very important. Talk to your child first in a supportive, non-accusing way. Then get help from professionals. Here is some information to help guide you.

Warning signs of possible alcohol or drug use

Signs that a teen may be using alcohol or drugs include:

Talk with your child

Talking to teens is often difficult. Talking about sensitive issues like drugs can be especially hard. These tips can help:

• Sit your child down for a face-to-face talk.

• Tell your child the concerns you have. Be specific about what you've noticed about your child’s behavior that worries you.

• Expect your child to deny drug or alcohol use. Don't argue. Your goal is to put the topic on the table and open a discussion.

• Explain that as a parent, it’s your job to protect your child, and that drugs and alcohol are dangerous. If there’s any chance that your child is using, you must act.

• Keep your tone firm and loving, not accusing or angry. Don't lose your temper. Anger is likely to make your child pull away from you and make it harder for you to help.

• If your child asks about your own past or current drug or alcohol use, be honest. But don’t dwell on your use. Focus instead on the possibly serious results of drug use in your own life and the lives of other adults.

• Know that the conversation will be ongoing. One talk is never enough.

Talk with your child’s health care provider

Tell your child’s health care provider your concerns and what you have noticed about your child. Your child’s provider can help by:

• Talking with your child about the dangers of alcohol and drug use.

• Suggesting further action you can take.

• Referring you to treatment programs or other professionals who can help.

• Helping develop a treatment plan for your child.

Your child’s provider may have a private discussion with your child about alcohol and drugs. This means that the provider can't tell you what was discussed. This is to promote communication between your child and the provider. Talk to your child’s provider to learn more about this issue.

Be your child’s safety net

Make it very clear that your child can call you if they are drunk or high and needs a way to get home, or is in trouble. Be sure your child knows that even though you disapprove of alcohol or drug use, your first thought is for their safety.

Help prevent use and abuse

• Watch your teen. Talk with them regularly about where they are and their friends, activities, social media, and more.

• Be a role model. One of the best ways you can help prevent drug and alcohol use by your child is to model the behavior you want to see. Studies show that if parents smoke, drink, or take drugs, their children are more likely to do these things, too. Don’t smoke and don’t do drugs. Drink only in moderation or not at all, and never drink and drive.

• Communicate early and often. Start talking to your child about the dangers of drugs and underage alcohol use when they are young. According to the Substance Abuse and Mental Health Services Administration, about 1 in 10 12-year-olds say they have tried alcohol. By age 15, that number jumps to 1 in 2. Almost 7 in 10 high school students have tried alcohol. Tell your child often that you disapprove of the use of drugs and under-age alcohol use. Be sure your child knows the dangers of using drugs or alcohol. Tell them that they can always come to you with questions.

• Encourage activities. Encourage your child to take part in activities that give a sense of purpose and belonging. Examples are team and individual sports, martial arts, music or art classes, religious groups, youth groups, or volunteer programs.

• Stay in the loop. Get to know your child’s friends and schedule. Have your child check in with you regularly so you know where they are, whom they are with, and what they are doing.

To learn more

• Substance Abuse and Mental Health Services Administration , 800-662-HELP (800-662-4357)

• Parents Empowered

• 988 Suicide & Crisis Lifeline at

• Partnership to End Addiction at